i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
