She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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