I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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