Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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