i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize