to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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