I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
No subtext here. People are naked.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
