it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
