There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
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She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize