Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
