Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it was like eating out sand paper
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Randomize
