I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize