And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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