can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
