So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
