The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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