thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
