I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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