Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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