So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
