wanna go halves on a baby?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
