Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
