im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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