this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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