My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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