I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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