anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
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no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
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im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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