Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
