Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
