Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
