Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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