i permit you to call me
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
