Will you blow on my dice?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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