so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
NoShamevember. You game?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
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