dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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