Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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