hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I had to cum in my sink.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
