are you so shy because you have an std?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize