Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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