your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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