Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
