someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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