grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I will pee on everything he values.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
