My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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