Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
