youre lurking in front of me
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
