She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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