did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
