The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
