Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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