I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
