His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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