i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
