The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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