i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
