hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
