If that was your dad, he is hot
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
