dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
