If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
