Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
