Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
