and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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