Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
