I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
