wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
